


Exodus 3:14

by citrusfriend



Series: Poetry [16]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Dysphoria, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Dysphoria, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extended Metaphors, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Gender Roles, Genderqueer Character, Gratuitous metaphors, Growing Up, Happy Ending, Healing, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Metaphors, Nonbinary Character, Past Child Abuse, Personal Growth, Poetic, Poetry, Recovery, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Reflection, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, abuse recovery, and i feel personal growth in this chilis tonight, its just in reference to the one verse, this isnt actually religious pls dw, whats a gender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21919297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusfriend/pseuds/citrusfriend
Summary: I am a man in the same way maroon is red.
Relationships: Queer character & his weird as fuck gender
Series: Poetry [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1320233
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Exodus 3:14

**Author's Note:**

> “And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.” Exodus 3:14

I am a man

in the same way that maroon is red--

in that it fits into no other casually consumed category,

and yet, when something is described as red,

you will never first think of ~~me~~ maroon.

I am a woman,

in the same way that the hardened, clumped glue

that previously held together a shoe,

~~ that previously held together you ~~

is footwear--

in that when it was whole, the glue was always inferred,

in every occasion in which the shoe was referred,

and yet,

when the shoe finally fell apart,

from the wear and tear expected from the start,

the glue is always scoffed at, derided,

~~ blamed ~~

and replaced. 

I am genderless,

in the same way that I am gender itself,

because both are merely perceptions of self,

and I taught myself both duality and nonexistence,

and they taught me that the most admirable types of

masculinity ("firm or obstinate continuance--") and femininity ("in spite of--")

were nothing but two types of persistence,

instead of identity ("difficulty or opposition.")

I am unprecedented,

in the same way that I was

as a preteen sitting at a dented metal folding table with my father,

~~_ abuser _ ~~

feeling the distance between myself and my family grow farther

as I defied him in the way none of our cowering figures had in

~~days~~ in ~~months~~ in ~~years~~

**~~November, 2005~~ **

in far too long,

demanding that he respect women.

Two unrelenting voices over a forgotten game of hearts

~~ drowning the last of my mother's placating, succouring, cowardly one ~~

with the cards as scattered as the remains

of my respect for him.

I am ~~what I have made myself to be~~

I am ~~the defiance that no one else afforded me~~

I am a man weaker than I needed me to be,

and yet,

I am a woman who fought long enough

that his ghost finally let me leave.

I am a man confident enough to pace chin up, chest out,

and yet,

I am woman who only appreciates my breasts as a heater for the hands working to remove them.

I am a man ~~who lives, who will~~ ~~_ live _ ~~

and yet,

I am a woman ~~who lived, who~~ ~~_ has _ lived ~~

I am-

I am.

In the same way they believe god to be.

**_I am._ **

**Author's Note:**

> 12/21/19


End file.
